Life on the Quidditch Team
by LuxaLovesLawnmowers
Summary: Oliver Wood has a problem: he's one team member short. Follow him and the Gryffindor Quidditch Team in their quest to find the perfect Seeker!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I do not, not do ever claim to own the world of Harry Potter, which belongs solely to J.K. Rowling.

Please review!

Life on the Quidditch pitch

We find ourselves at one overly- happy freezing cold (oxymoron, right?) school day at the beginning of the school year (freak weather) at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Fred Weasley was currently balancing a quill on his head. Or trying to. Lee Jordan, beside him, was also trying to use the quill, but for homework. This was creating a slight problem.

"Give me the quill!"

"Not planning on it." muttered Fred as he placed the quill on his head yet again, trying unsuccessfully to balance it there.

"I'm trying to do my homework!"

"That's probably why he won't give it to you." said George quite cheerfully, who was sitting in an armchair next to Fred in the Gryffindor common room.

"I don't care!"

Alicia Spinnet came up to the trio. "If I were you three, I'd get outta here."

Fred looked up, and the quill fell. "What do you mean?"

"Oliver's on the warpath. He's angry about his lack of Seeker. And Chaser." Alicia rolled her eyes. "Does he not need a life?"

"I have a life, thank you very much, I just happen to devote it to Quidditch." said a loud voice from behind Alicia.

Fred, George, and Alicia all jumped. Lee, who had grabbed Fred's quill, and was trying to catch up on his homework (which he was woefully behind on), did not. Besides, why should he? Oliver Wood wasn't _his_ Captain.

Unfortunately for the twins and Alicia, he was theirs. He puffed up his chest, which the unfortunate trio knew to mean he was going to need a long breath to give them an even longer lecture (This consequent lack of air usually ended with Oliver panting heavily, and in one eventful Quidditch practice the year before, actually fainting).

Before he could start, Angelina Johnson came yawning down the stairs from the girls' dormitory. "Hello, Oliver." she mumbled, apparently about to head off for breakfast. Or lunch, as was the case at this time of day.

"Oh, there you are!" said Oliver, practically shouting. "I need to talk to you!"

"Unless it's about the giant banner in the girl's dormitory saying 'Long Live Oliver Wood, the Sexiest Quidditch Captain Alive', I don't want to hear it." Angelina said sleepily.

No, it's not about th- wait, what?" Oliver stopped in the middle of his sentence, momentarily distracted. "There's a banner in your dormitory saying what!"

"Long Live Oliver Wood, the Sexiest Quidditch Captain Alive." repeated Alicia, now all smiles. "I share her dormitory, it's true."

Lee looked up from his schoolwork. "Oliver, I never knew you had such a high opinion of yourself."

Fred shook his head sadly. "And here we were thinking you were a selfless fifth-year devoted to Quidditch."

"But I didn't- I would never- what-utterly ridiculous!" spluttered Oliver.

Fred and George laughed in unison. "Calm down, Oliver." said George. "It was us. We put up that banner to see your expression when you heard about it."

Fred grinned. "And trust me, it was worth it.

Oliver growled. "Listen up, all of you! We need to find a Chaser and a Seeker. But in the meanwhile, we need to practice!"

They all groaned, with the exception of Lee, who was still immersed in his work.

"But Oliver, school started last week, the first match of the season is weeks off, and it's freezing cold outside!" complained George.

"I don't care! Get out there or I'll tell McGonagall who told Peeves how to break into her office!" barked Oliver.

Alicia frowned slightly. "Speaking of that, how _did _you know how to break into McGonagall's office?"

"That's for us to know-"

"And you to find out!" finished George.

Alicia, Fred, Oliver, and Angelina left for the Quidditch pitch. On his way out, George stopped to look over Lee's shoulder.

"_Ice cream is a major problem in goblin societies. Emric the Evil was allergic to the fatal Chocolate Chip Ice Cream and that is how Uric the Oddball managed to defeat him with a large vat of cookie dough." _George read aloud. "What in Merlin's pants are you writing?"

"I'm testing out my theory that Professor Binns doesn't read our essays- he assigns random grades." said Lee without looking up.

"If I were grading this, it would get an Outstanding." commented George.

"Yes, but you are not Cuthbert Binns. You are George Weasley, and therefore you do not have the authority to grade this paper." said Lee absentmindedly, scratching his forehead with the quill.

"That is one of the reasons why you are my best mate." said George.

"Why, because I'm willing to get I'm trouble with the most boring albeit only ghost teacher to prove a theory?"

"No, because you can tell me and Fred apart." said George airily, plucking the quill from between Lee's fingers.

"GEORGE WEASLEY GIVE THAT BACK!" howled Lee as George walked away whistling, about to join his brother at the Quidditch pitch, twirling the quill in his fingers.


	2. Chapter 2

"I want the five of you to look out for a new Chaser, and I'll look for a new Seeker." said Oliver.

"Why don't we just hold tryouts?" said Angelina. "That's what normal Quidditch teams do."

"Oh, Angel, Angel, Angel." tutted Fred.

"I told you not to call me that!"

"You told _George_ not to call you that, Angel. And back to what I was saying, this is not a normal Quidditch team."

"Not with you on it, it sure isn't." retorted Angelina.

"Ah, Angel." said George, draping one arm over Fred's shoulders, and the other over Angelina's. "I like to think that our whole team is comprised of weirdoes, not just Fred and me."

Angelina pushed his arm off her. "I know I told _you_ at least not to call me Angel."

Alicia laughed, and Oliver stamped his foot. "Are you listening to me?"

"Did you say something, Olli?" asked Fred innocently.

"Find a Chaser for the team!"

"Find yourself a girlfriend, and maybe we will!" said George playfully.

To the Weasley twins' surprise, Oliver turned bright red. "For your information, I've already got one!"

"Who?" asked Fred.

"Who? asked George.

"Who?" asked Fred.

"Who?" asked George.

"I'll tell you if you find me a Chaser!" bellowed Oliver. "Now get out of this changing room before I hex you two into oblivion!"

The twins left with identical evil maniacal looks on their faces.

Alicia, who had been standing in the background, grinned at Angelina, who grinned back. "So who is this secret girlfriend, Olli?"

"The rules apply to you too, and if you call me Olli again I'll hand you upside-down in the common room!" huffed Oliver.

"Getting a bit inventive with the threats, aren't we, Oliver?" asked Alicia.

"Oh, shut it." grumbled Oliver.

Back in the Gryffindor common room, Fred and George found Lee conducting the first years' in a chorus of "Hoggy Hoggy Hogwarts". Even Fred and George couldn't help staring.

"How did you manage to convince them to sing that?" asked Fred in amazement.

"Told them that Dumbledore had ordered them to." whispered Lee. "Don't tell them, this is great fun."

"Who do you think you're talking to?" asked George indigently.

At that moment, the twins' little brother Ron came down the stairs, trailing his friend Harry Potter.

"Care to join us?" shouted Fred as he waved his wand, making the small group of first years sing faster.

"Do we have to?" whined Ron.

"Order of Dumbledore, ickle Ronnie." said George quite happily. "You two have to join us, or you get a detention."

Ron muttered something like, "I'd rather get a detention", but he and Harry joined the singing nonetheless. And Fred, George and Lee conducted them. Until the sudden appearance of a bossy, red-headed someone behind them.

"What do you three think you're doing?" asked Percy Weasley.

"Leading a horribly out-of-tune rendition of the Hogwarts school song." confessed Lee.

"Why?"

"It's fun." shrugged Fred.

Percy marched up to the first years. "All of you clear out. This is a prank! You may leave, believe me, I'm a prefect!"

George rolled his eyes. "Percy the Pratty Perfect Prefect." he muttered.

Fred grinned. "Not a bad tongue-twister you got there, George."

Fred, George and Lee spent the next half hour chanting "Percy the Pratty Perfect Prefect" loudly to the extreme annoyance of Percy and a second year girl trying to do her homework by the fire.

"Will you shut it! I've got loads of homework from McGonagall and Snape, and I wanna catch up before Monday." she snapped.

"Aw, look, Georgie, it's a second year that actually has some backbone." said Fred. "What's your name, itty bitty second?"

"I'm one year younger than you three." she said coldly. "And I'm Katie Bell."

Lee took a seat next to Katie. "Hello, Katie. Before we advance any further into our friendship, I'd like to make clear that even though you are truthfully very pretty, I have my heart set upon Angelina Johnson, and I would never betray her."

"We have a friendship?" asked Katie at the same time George said, "Angel would never even look at you compared to me, you should know that by now."

"Of course we have a friendship, Katie!" exclaimed Lee, mortally offended by the hurtful words of his new best friend.

"Excuse me, George." said one Angelina Johnson, who had come into the room. "Did you just say that you could woo me? Because if you've been trying, you've been failing pitifully."

"Aw, how could you say such hurtful things my love?" gasped George, falling onto the floor in misery.

"Easy." smirked Angelina. Ignoring both of them, Fred examined Katie Bell. She had a lean figure, but looked strong. And she had a sort of fiery passion on her face that would do well…

"Oi! Oliver!" shouted Fred, earning him angry glares from the surrounding students trying to study. Oliver, who had been on the other side of the common room grumbling about lack of respect from certain team members, looked up. "Huh?"

"I've got you a new Chaser!" yelled Fred.

George and Angelina, who had been engaged in some sort of wrestling match, gave Fred their full attention. "Who?" they chorused.

"Why, our new acquaintance Katie Bell, of course!"

Katie, who had been having a reluctant conversation with Lee, snapped to attention. "Huh? I don't remember agreeing to this!"

But Oliver, who had walked over, was already appraising Katie. "Good idea, Fred. She's the right type for a Chaser, but we can't make sure until we see her play." He now addressed Katie. "Would you be willing to come to practice on Tuesday night, 6:00?"

"Well, I don't really have a choice in this, do I?" grumbled Katie, glancing at the twins and Lee. Then she allowed herself a tiny smile. "I did always fancy myself a Quidditch player, though. Sure, I'll try out."

Angelina held out her hand to Katie, who shook it. "I'm Angelina Johnson. I'm a Chaser too. You haven't met her yet, but the other Chaser is Alicia Spinnet. These two buffoons are Fred and George Weasley. They're our Beaters."

Katie interrupted to say, "Should've known. They're infamous."

Angelina continued without pausing. "The burly fifth year you see here is Oliver Wood, our Captain. And this is Lee Jordan, who serves as our Quidditch commentator."

"Shouldn't there be a Seeker?"

"We haven't got one yet." admitted Oliver. "Not since the legend, Charlie Weasley, left last year."

"Our brother." reminded Fred unnecessarily.

George nudged his brother. "No need reminding them how greatness runs in our family. They know that already, after seeing us."

Oliver raised his eyebrows. "Unfortunately for you two, I am less inclined to believe that your family has the greatness gene, since I share a dorm with your brother Percy."

"Ah, well, the greatness skipped Percy." shrugged Fred. "Now George, let's be off, before said annoying brother comes to tell us off for putting Dungbombs in his bed."

As they left, Oliver shouted at them, "Hey, I Share a dormitory with him! It's gonna stink in there now, thanks to you! And we still haven't found a Seeker!"

Alicia, Katie and Angelina shook their heads sadly at their teammates while Lee got up to join his best friends.


	3. Chapter 3

You are reading my story. All credit to J.K. Rowling. But remember, this author has had a total of one review in her life. And it was from her. The price for reading this a review. Please. If you don't, she'll convince Fred, George, Lee, AND James, Sirius, Peter and Remus to come after you. Yea, she's that evil.

Oliver took a deep breath. "Our first game is in three months, and we still haven't got a Seeker!"

Fred patted Oliver on the shoulder. "That's your problem, Oliver. As you said, we have _three months._ Relax. Take a chill pill."

Oliver started turning a purple color deeply reminiscent of plums. "We can't relax! That's how people lose!"

Angelina rolled her eyes. "We lost last year, and I sure don't call what you did then relaxing."

All the team members who had been there the previous year, Fred, George and Angelina (Alicia had been on reserve), had a vivid image of Oliver leading them onto the Quidditch pitch at 3:00 in the morning and forcing them to practice for a full twenty four-hours without rest or food. Fred shivered at the memory of being without food for that long. George shivered at the memory of falling off his broom 2,000 feet into the air out of exhaustion (Fred had saved him by using Wingardium Leviosa on him). And Angelina shivered at the memory of an irate McGonagall stomping out of the castle to yell at her for now showing up for Transfiguration that morning.

"Never again" said Fred vehemently. Angelina and George nodded in agreement, still lost in memories of that horrid day.

Katie (Who had been accepted into the team after a splendid tryout where she not only scored twenty-three goals, but knocked out Fred with a stray Bludger as well) cleared her throat loudly, jolting the three third-years back to reality. "Can I ask you guys a question?"

"Sure, what is it?" asked George.

"Why aren't you holding tryouts? It would get help out a lot." asked Katie.

"We addressed that last chapter." said Alicia.

"I wasn't in that decision and I say we hold tryouts."

Lee walked in the room, saw the team together and sighed. "Great. More Quidditch and more being left out."

Oliver frowned. "You're not being left out. You're the commentator, aren't you?"

"Yes, but I've _always_ wanted to be Seeker, and nobody's even asked me to tryout!" complained Lee.

Fred laughed. "Lee, we all know you can't fly a broom to save your life."

"But you should at least give me a chance." pouted Lee.

Katie grinned. "Ha! Now we have a reason to hold tryouts!" she said triumphantly.

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say? We'll hold them on Thursday, 7:00. See you there, Lee."

Oliver, Angelina, Fred, George, and Alicia filed out of the common room, Oliver to his dormitory, Alicia and Angelina to the library, and Fred and George to go shut Mrs. Norris in a suit of armor, leaving Lee and Katie alone together.

"Thanks, Lee." said Katie appreciably.

"No problem. Plus, now I get to try out. Fred and George have been stopping me for years." replied Lee. "Now give me those Chocolate Cauldrons you promised."

Katie handed over the chocolates, and Lee got up and left, presumably to eat them. Katie cackled like, well, a witch and whispered, "He'll never suspect that I put a love potion in them. Lee Jordan will be mine, all mine!"

Unbeknownst to Katie, Lee was wrapping up the Chocolate Cauldrons up to give to Percy Weasley as a "Please don't give me detention for turning your hair purple" present.

Thursday, 7:00 came, and the Gryffindor Quidditch team found themselves facing the weirdest group of people they'd ever seen. And considering who was actually on the team, that was saying something.

There was Percy Weasley, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, Moaning Myrtle, Neville Longbottom, Adrian Pucey, Lee Jordan, Cormac McLaggen, Cho Chang, Cedric Diggory, Firenze, and _Albus Dumbledore. _Oliver could only stutter his amazement.

"W-What…I-I don't-Y-You c-can't..." he attempted to put words to his befuddlement.

Fred stepped forward. "What Olli is trying to say is that though he is sincerely flattered at the turnout, he cannot allow anyone not in Gryffindor to tryout."

It shows how speechless Oliver was that he didn't even reprimand Fred for calling him Olli. George also made his voice heard.

"Hey Adrian, go away, you're on the Slytherin Quidditch team. And Cho Chang, not only are you in Ravenclaw, you cry way too much. Cedric, you're too handsome and I don't want anyone more handsome than me on the team, and besides, you're one of those dumb Hufflepuffs. "said George.

Adrian, Cho and Cedric left. Angelina stepped up. "Uh, Weasley twins, you're forgetting something."

"What?"

"That all the team members need to have TWO LEGS!" she shouted at Firenze, who snorted angrily and trotted back to the Forbidden Forest.

"They should all probably be alive, too." mused Alicia. At this, Moaning Myrtle let out a wail and headed off towards the castle. This left one more problem.

"Um, Professor?" said Oliver tentatively, regaining his power off speech at last. "Don't you think you're a little too…old for this?"

"Not at all, not at all." said Dumbledore cheerily.

"But you're not even school age!" protested Oliver.

Dumbledore sighed. "If you insist, I'll leave. I just wanted the opportunity to try out, as I was always too busy being _smart_ and such to be on the team when I was young."

Fred leaned over to George. "Did they even have Quidditch back then?"

Dumbledore glared at Fred. "As a matter of fact, they did." he grumbled, turning towards the castle and leaving.

The remaining wanna-bes were Percy, Seamus, Dean, Neville, Lee and Cormac. Oliver had them get on their brooms and fly around the pitch once, which was a good idea, as Neville didn't even get off the ground and Seamus crashed into a pole. Percy managed to fly around the pitch once, but stared at Katie so avidly that he fell off his old Cleansweep Five.

He didn't seem to mind; he ran up to Katie and openly declared his love. She glanced at Lee.

"Did you by any chance give Percy any of those Chocolate Cauldrons?" she asked guiltily.

"Yea, I gave him the whole box. Why?"

Katie didn't reply, but led the lovesick Percy to the hospital wing, where Madam Pomfrey would give him an antidote to the love potion. During her absence, they tried out Lee, who true to Fred's word, flew in a circle before taking a nosedive down to Earth, and Cormac, who spent so much time trying to tell Oliver how to guard the posts right he didn't notice Alicia and Angelina score goal after goal. Dean, who was raised by Muggles, didn't even know what a Snitch was and kept trying to "catch" the Quaffle.

When Katie returned, the exhausted team (and Lee) trooped back to their common room without a Seeker. They'd rather go without then have any them. Even Fred and George went straight to bed after that fiasco. They'd better find a Seeker soon, or Oliver would be _Seeking_ professional help from St. Mungo's.

The next morning, Fred and George woke up at the exact same time. No surprise there. Together they took turns slapping Lee until he was awake, and headed down for breakfast. On their way, they stopped by the notice board.

"Hey, Lee. Look." said Fred.

"Huh?" said Lee thickly.

"They're having flying lessons today. You'd better go." pointed out George.

"Those are for the first years!" scowled Lee.

"Well, since your flying experience and talent is equal to a Muggle-born smurf, we figure you need them." replied Fred.

"A Muggle-born what!"

"It's a Muggle thing." commented George as they headed downstairs.

Oliver approached them during breakfast. "Don't bother looking for a Seeker. We're not gonna find one."

"What are we gonna do?" asked Fred, alarmed.

"I've decided that if I don't find a Seeker by the end of the day...I'll let Percy join." sighed Oliver.

Fred, George and Lee let out howls of shock. Lee was also spluttering with indignation. "You'll let that prat join before me?"

"He made it around the pitch, unlike you." retorted Angelina, who had been within earshot.

Lee was gloomy all throughout Transfiguration and Herbology. Fred and George weren't exactly balls of sunshine, either. It wasn't until lunch that they got some good news. Oliver came up, bouncing with joy. "We've gone one! We've got a Seeker! And it's not Percy, either!"

"Who is it?" asked Lee as George groaned, "It better not be Moaning Myrtle."

Oliver grinned. "It's much better than that! Our Seeker is Harry Potter!"

"Huh?" said Fred

"Huh?" said Lee.

"I'm hungry." said George. "What?" he said, looking around at all the bemused faces.

Ignoring the starving George, Oliver went on."During Flying lessons, the Malfoy kid threw some kid's Rememberall into the air, and Potter caught it in a fifty-foot dive! Charlie couldn't have done it!"

Fred smiled. "Maybe not, but _I_ could have." he said, pointing jauntily to himself.

George pushed Fred's face down into his porridge. When he resurfaced, they grinned at each other.

"Think it's time for a celebratory prank, Gred?"

"If you don't mind, Forge."

And that is how Professor Flitwick ended up blue and smurf-shaped. And to the twins' utter happiness, so did Lee, although he still didn't get the joke.


End file.
